Self Esteem?

Id just like peoples opinions on how lack of this can affect an individual?.Like to know peoples experiences , who suffer/ have suffered with low self esteem. what did you do to overcome it( if you did)

Answers:
One way to overcome it is to become confident in the area where one lacks confidence most. If you are afraid people think you're too big (even if you're not), be as healthy as you can be so you can tell yourself those people are too shallow. If you think you are not strong enough to protect yourself from physical harm, take a self defense class and excel in it. If you have a learning disability that affects how well you communicate, learn to excel in at least one form of communication, but try working on all you can. Find your faults and fix them. That kind of thing.

Sorry for answering this one as I do not have low self-esteem.

And neither should anyone.

The question you need to ask yourself is - "do you like and respect yourself?"

If you don't then don't expect anyone else to. If on the other hand you do, then stuff what anyone else thinks - does it really matter?
Just learn to love yourself and all of your inadequacies, we all have them, nobody is perfect!
low self esteem is really difficult to over come. It is mainly with the help of a therapist, or your friends and family that it can be overcome. I know people who suffer from this, and some of them can't get away from it. And people with low self esteem tend to listen more to the bad comments about them, than the good ones. They need to learn to remember the good, and try and sort out the bad, if they can. They need to remember how fabulous they are, and they need at least one person who can truly say they are a great friend/sibling/spouse to them when they feel really worthless.
ive been told by many poeple i have low self asteem but i dont know what to do to over come it, sorry im so useless!
low self esteem can come from bad relationships, a bad life when you were growing up at home or in school, counseling is an option, but its mostly bs. Try going to church and surrounding yourself with positive minded people, who have a hug and a smile for you three times a week, help out with dinners and before you know it, you'll fall in love with them, they'll love you back, on a level that most people don't comprehend, and you'll learn to love yourself. Its what worked for me.
I had low self confidence, but I worked on an area that I knew I could do and was good at. That built my confidence in that area.
I then took a long look at how I'd managed to do that, boiled it down into a series of small steps and then tackled something I thought I wasn't any good at. I put a lot of effort in to doing all this and my self confidence is gradually returning. I'm starting to feel more like my old self again.
I have a lot of sympathy for people who are going through this, but no time for people who just want to whine and not do anything to fix it!

Reading the previous answer I find its nice when people who can see what I've achieved give me some feedback and recognition, but its more important to me how I feel about it!
And another thing you have to do is change the internal monologue. When you hear that wretched voice telling you you can't do it or whatever, you have to try to figure out whose voice that is you've heard and remembered, because its not yours. Listen to it again but this time as a certain persons voice, then in your voice tell it to push off because its wrong. Tell it to mind its own business and stop undermining you. And then use oyur own voice to talk yourself through how you feel, not how you;ve been told you should feel by someone else.
Sounds nuts, but it works.
You would only be getting answers from people who have high ( high enough )self esteem!

Nothing can help one to boost his or her self esteem except, themselves, and the irony is that you cannot do anything to boost your self esteem except to be comfortable with yourself. That would be like discovering yourself. Can't look for yourself. Just stumble onto this finding. Takes time for that to happen if you haven't found yourself yet.

Well at least that is what I feel. Now give me my 10 points. I have high self esteem and you are going to keep it like that!
Its a sad thing when people cannot see there is good in everyone including themselves. Low esteem can be brought on by parents or others under mining you when you are young. Not able to compete in sport can bring it on. A relationship that goes wrong. So lots of things can bring it on. Cure? well I say someone out there loves you. There is always someone worse off than you. People you see who look top of the world may have low esteem but can kick it out of the way. We all have low points in our life. Think of the good things. If you are really low get professional help.
I wish I had an answer. I used to think that I needed other people to tell me that i was doing well. But then when I tried my best, I got no recognition for it. After some time, I realised that people are only too quick to point out your faults and not so ready to admit your strengths.

I would suggest going to those people that you respect and care about and trust and ask them to write down 3 things that they value in you.

If you truly value them, then you will value theor opinion of you.

I hope this helps.
Here's what I did, firstly think of 5 people you dislike and list what you hate about them, then 5 who you admire/like and what you like about them.

Now I bet what you come up with is a mirror image of what you like dislike about yourself. But now you have definite goals to work towards. My problem was shyness for example so I surrounded myself with as many charasmatic people as possible and set myself the goal of starting conversation with 5 strangers a day.

After just a few weeks my problem was gone and I strted enjoying socialising. Stck with it the bloodier the battle the sweeter the victory!
Everybody has a self image, and self esteem, If you didnt like yourself, how can other people like you? it is often a problem answering this, if you don't like yourself. It will most likely influence your perception of everything somebody says or does around you.

As for an experience, I was in High School track and jogging around the track in warm ups, I was singing the Jello song to myself to keep pace, but a girl in front of me thought I was singing about her behind, and took offense, a couple years later she confronted me about it, saying it upset her, I had no idea. And when I explained that I wasn't referring to her, and that I had always thought her behind sexy, she cried.

Her low self esteem, was lowered even more, unintentionally, by overhearing me singing to myself, and thinking I was humiliating her. Now if she had a high self esteem, she might have thought I was complimenting her.
I still get it. I depends on how well things are going. People always think I'm confident and outgoing. But that's just a trick. I tried to overcome it by pretending to be confident, and it works to an extent. People are more positive about you if you are about them. "Confidence" and "trick" aren't used together by accident. Confidence can be learned.
Change your behaviour. So when you look in the mirror - you see someone who behaves like someone you would like. Don't swear, work hard, study hard, act responsibly, be brave enough to say no, have morals when those around you don't, and so on.
no i did not over come it .but i will tell my grandchildren to believe
in them selfs. what they want to do it is up to them ,to know they can try,talk to people ask about things,look around see what is out there.give your self a small thing to do when you done that go for some thing bigger.and be pleased with your self
-__
ACCEPT YOURSELF FOR WHO U ARE..GOD MADE US ALL DIFERENT,,BUT BEAUTIFUL IN HIS IMMAGE,INGNORE OTHERS NEGATIVE OPINIONS,CHANGE THE THOUGHTS IN YOUR HEAD,,LOVE URSELF,,NOBODY ELSE HAS TO LOVE U AND IF THEY DONT IS THEIR LOSS
Hi. I have low self esteem & I haven't learned yet how to overcome it, but I live with hope. :) It's a hard thing to live with, especially with society & the media telling you how you should act, or what you should look like. I mean I'm overweigh but I am in a happy place right now. If I don't pay attention to the media hype, then I'm usually a happy girl. It's when I go out & see how other people see me & treat me that I start to feel bad about myself again.
Good luck & I hope you find the answer you're looking for. :)
Self-esteem is a kind of no win situation. People with high SE are generally perceived as smart-smart arsed, cocky individuals, and on the other hand people with low SE are generally shy, introverted, quiet types. It is natural to be self-critical, but to much can result in a lack of self- confidence.
There are no magic pills! If you want to spend the money to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist that might or might not work for you. I did both when I was younger, but I feel it was a waste of money! There are times in your life when you feel that you are just lost or may be going crazy. The fact of the matter is, because you are realizing that you need help, you are on the road to recovery. Crazy people often don't admit that they have a problem. You might want to share your thoughts with another person; either a good friend who will not gossip to others about your problem or pick out another lonely person that you feel may need a "pick me up". Some people say "have a nice long talk with MOM", but I feel that the family is part of the problem. If they were not, they would have already noticed your moods and talked to you!

Important- there are times in everyone's life when things are rough. Going through puberty, losing a loved one (grandma or a close friend etc.), breaking up with a boyfiend, being rejected by a boyfriend, failing a class, not being invited to dance or party, not fitting in with the crowd etc.

Have you thought that the crowd might have something wrong with them (drugs, alcohol etc.)
and you are really normal, just a little confused?

The answer to your question is free and it is really easy. LET THE TIME PASS! When you are thirty or forty or fifty, will the things that you are worrying about now really matter? Read
some good books, listen to the kind of music that you like. I believe that your problem may be related to stress! If not, you may be a very impatient person! Learn to "let go". Learn to relax! Do something different, just to try it. Learn how to have fun and laugh! Since you are on the computer, take some lessons and learn new things. There must be millions of things of to see and do on the web.

Get some new friends- you don't have to drink,
take drugs, or have sex to be popular. If those are the type of people you admire, you are better off without them!

Once upon a time, about 2000 B.C., there was a man sitting on the edge of a river in Egypt trying to catch a fish. He worried and worried
all through the day. He did this day after day,
and he too suffered from low self esteem. He did the best that he could and eventually he caught that fish, but to him life was very hard.
Whatever he did, he survived and today, four thousand years later, we don't even know his name or anything about him. Only a couple of hundred years from now, no one will remember you and I, yet they all will be having one crisis
after another and they will deal with it as best they can.

Moral- don't give up hope, everyone has problems, you're not alone. You are only responsible for your own actions. Sometimes trying to fit in with the group can become your death warrant! Slow down! Even if you may not believe, sometimes it does not hurt to pray. You could very well be surprised!

Lastly, you may want to see your physician, because you might have some kind of illness.
Even something like a thyroid problem might be
messing you up. A good physical exam will lift your spirits, just because you know there is nothing major wrong with you.

As a veteran, I would ask you to go to a veteran's hospital and ask to volunteer just a few hours a week. Help someone who gave an arm or a leg or his sight to defend our country.
I can guarantee that after a few short visits, you will be thanked by the veterans and the staff for your good deeds hundreds of times and
your low self esteem will suddenly disappear,
because you know that you are doing something worthwhile and you're a valuable asset to the community. Love yourself and love the less fortunate and they will love you back in return!

It all called growing up! Good luck!
It's really really difficult to overcome low self esteem. It was a gradual thing for me, having counselling helped, and then meeting my husband, someone who would love me for who I was. I also became a Christian and knowing that God loves and accepts me was a big help. I don't know that there really is one answer, but you need to keep telling yourself that you are a unique and special person. Try thinking of any talents or gifts that you have and focus on those. Good luck!
My ex had me feeling that the world be better without me in it and I spent one Christmas planning the best way to kill myself.
It was only when I realised that the timing had to be right and the place perfect so as to cause as little upset to my children and parents that I realised that I would be missed, that there were people who cared for me and relied on me.
That day my self esteem crept above zero again and it has been climbing steadily ever since.
Now I am very happily divorced and in a new relationship with a man who loves me and shows it and I am so happy you would not believe I was the same person.
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