Not being able to open up - lonely?

hi there, i recently turned 18 june of 2006. whenever since i reached middle school, i've been having problems with my lack of braveness to speak to someone i don't know or someone i don't know well enough. due to this issue, i can't shorten the distance between me and a person so that we will be close enough to develop a friendship.
i figured out one of the reasons is that i am lacking prideness or self-esteem in order to attempt to speak or speak up. the reason for not having enough self-esteem is because i tend to think that i kind of sound funny or unskilled at speaking. i get nervous sometimes when i talk and often times my mind is too blank to think of anything to talk about.

to let you know, i am suffering from loneliness. i feel shame and ugly during lunch when groups of people see me walk by. whenever someone i know greets me, let's say "hi Shukie", i feel so cheered up at the very moment. obviously i am hungry for a social life.

Answers:
Well said, (jkpoet2) and (Chris A).

Good luck, Shukie. Stay strong. Reach out. Open up. There are a lot of people who actually would like to know you more and hang around with you.

Be confident of who you are. Each one of us is a unique individual. You have so many things / ideas to share with others. Feel free to express yourself.

Appreciate the people that love you for who you are. Don't try to change who you are. You're obviously introverted, but it sounds like you may have social phobia too which is an anxiety disorder. See somebody and see if you can get some meds for it.
try socialanxietysupport.com, try church, more-selfesteem.com, selfgrowth.com, communicationconfidence.com, and me dogmicjoe@yahoo.com. practice on me. good luck. i used to be like you but being exposed to people has helped me out.
Maybe you could purchase an inexpensive tape recorder and record yourself speaking aloud. A lot of people, when they hear their recorded voice, will say, "Is that me?" Getting to know yourself means being comfortable in your own skin. Perhaps "listening to yourself" is that first step. However you choose to proceed, good luck to you.
ALL YOU ARE FEARING IS REJECTION SO YOU GOTTA LET GO OF THAT ANS JUST JUMP RIGHT IN YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE THAT YOU CLICK WITH TAKES TIME TRY TO FIND OUT WHAT THAT PERSON IS INTO AND THEN THAT WILL LEAD TO OTHER FRIENDS EVERYONE GETS REJECTED THAT IS A PART OF LIFE BUT IT DOES NOT LAST GO ENJOY LIFE TAKE A RISK THE ONLY CHANCES WE REGRET ARE THE ONES NOT TAKEN
try to get involved in a club at ur school. if there is something that u have a little interest in try to get involved that way at least u will have a topic to start a conversation with someone else in the club. i know its hard but try walking around with a smile on ur face and look people in the eye when u walk by them instead of at the floor or staring off in space. just by giving people a friendly smile will make them feel at ease and they will naturally say "hi shukie!" and maybe even ask u how u are which will slowly develop into bigger conversations.
the only way u can overcome this is if u let down ur guard and just give it a try! good luck!
Hey shuckie!
let that gemini personality through hun! We gemini's are fun, opionated, flighty people...let it out!
school can be a b*tch for anyone, everyone is self conscience of what others think but dont waste that time worrying about yourself (save the stressing for when your married and your wife is ringing up the credit card bill) Get out there and have fun, show your worth!
Hi Shukie--I know how you feel because I have the same feeling. I have gotten better through the years. My self-esteem was bad too. I used to hang behind my parents so I moved to another city. I had to force myself to talk to other people. Try going to church to join some of the fellowship they have. It will be hard for you to force yourself to talk to people but I know you can do it. I did. Look in a mirror every morning and say to yourself===I am a wonderful person and a good person. Do it before you go to bed. That should help you to begin to have good self esteem.
find people who love you for who you are, and hold them close to you. I'm sure you already have at least a few of them. they're the ones that matter.

You may never be the "confident" person, able to talk to anyone who passes by, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you at all. It's just part of who you are.

I'm sure you're an amazing person, and everyone who meets you is lucky to have been in contact with you. Just relax, and enjoy the friends you have.
Let me tell you, once you get out of the horrible atmosphere that is grade school things should get 180% better. Kids are so cruel and into their little groups. Once you get out in the real world you will realize that people are more mature and normal. It doesn't matter if you think you are ugly because at lease half of the people you will be talking to will think the same thing about themselves.
Oh man, do I ever know what you are going through!

I felt the same way when I was 18 and am still having some trouble at 38. Just ageing helped alot. Looking back, I see how my social phobia could have been better controlled. One thing that helped was taking clonazepam (a mild tranquilizer thats less intoxicating than valium or xanax).

The person who advised walking around with a smile and recording yourself was on target. I find a good excercise is to try to remember anything funny when you are at the mirror shaving or brushing your teeth. Make a goofy face or menacing--anything to break a smile and laugh at your own appearance. When people laugh at you, it isn't always because they are deriding you. I laugh at people I find the most charming and cute.
When I was in high school and college, though, I kept a smug, strict look as a defense because I was paranoid (not clinically) of anyone laughing at me or discovering the real me, which was rough, ignorant and unsophisticated, I thought. I believed everyone was always telling the truth, couldn't see through bullsh*t and got psyched out over it. If I had a dollar for every minute I have p*ssed on worries like that and every lonely hour I missed on socialization.
just act crazy,run around saying boo boo and hibbidiby and ka ka ku kam.jus all kinda of crazy words and if that dont work.get high and go to school..but uauslly if you jus start saying crazy shiit...youll get use to talkin in front of ppl..its better they think ur weird than them thinking ur shy or sumthin lol..and then another way,is to seriuosly stop giveing a **** about nething.dun even care that u dont have a social life.and jus go around actin however you want and when soemone talks to u jus say evertyhing on ur mind..and if they dun hear u jus keep on talkin like ur on crack or sumthin.oh and u could jus smoke sum weed again..
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