Should I get involved with someone who has been diagnosed as "severely clinically depressed"?

I have just recently met a guy who is heaps of fun, physically attractive, and who is at the same stage in life as me (same age, separated, a couple of kids, going through property settlement, etc). Problem is, he is "full on" and "in your face". Constant physical touch, wants constant reassurance that I like him, and is always planning ahead as to when we will be seeing each other, what we will be doing, etc. He confessed on our second date that he is being medicated for depression, and was diagnosed about 6 years ago. Since telling me about it the other day, he seems paranoid I won't like him anymore. I get the feeling he wants a strong person who can be his "rock" and help him through this. This is all a bit scary for me, I'm feeling a bit stifled, but I do like him and would like to help him. But at the same time, having come out of a long term relationship, don't feel I want to jump into something so "heavy". What should I do?

Answers:
I can understand why you're having doubts. The depression itself can be treated medically, and hopefully he is one of the people that can be completely free of symptoms while on medication.
Along with the depression per se comes other difficulties. For instance his fear, that you'll leave him. It is common for a depressed person to dislike himself, and be convinced, that no-one will want to be with him unless they have some hidden agenda.
His constant need for reassuring and planning ahead is his way of trying to control the situation. If he feels, the relationship is breaking up, he'll probably just be more and more 'in your face' in an attempt to prevent the inevitable.
He needs to trust that you want to be with him, that you've chosen him and is not just waiting for someone better to come along. This is not easy for him, and it will take a long time, before he stops being convinced you've left him if you're late from work.
You could suggest to him to make an appointment with a psychologist, preferably someone who specializes in cognitive therapy - perhaps you could go with him, so you both could learn how to deal with his issues and your relationship.
I wish the best of luck to both of you.

No. You said you didn't want anything heavy.
Yikes! This seems very smothering very early on. When it starts out like that, usually it only gets worse. I think you should leave this one alone. Normally I wouldn't think being depressed (when one is in treatment) should be the reason not to pursue a relationship, but there is a lot more going on here. This is going to be a very, very "heavy" relationship, not at all pleasant after a long-term one ends.
Been there. If you wants heaps of dramas in the future, go with it. Otherwise .
Think about being his rock for the rest of your life and not having that same consideration returned to you. How would you feel not having someone to lean on when you need it? Not great, well that's what you have to look forward too. And that smothering needy feeling he gives you, think about never getting away with it. You cant fix him, he's not a dog you can train. He has major issues that have been going on for longer than 6 years, he had the issues pre-medication. That means, you will get to deal with it for life.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with finding someone who can give you the same things in return. You aren't even 'in love' with him, you just met him, keep looking for a partner that can give you 100 percent in exchange for your 100 percent. You will be much happier.

He will be okay, he's got a therapist and you aren't it.
of course. rememebr being with someone that has suffered through something like that is going to be just as close if not closer than sumone ur with that hast suffered anything. work around being scared and its k if you are.
It takes a very brave person to take this on. You need to ask yourself a few questions. "Can I cope with this possibly for the rest of my life?" "What would be the effect on any children we may have?" "Will he always remain stable?" and the important one "Do I love him enough to take the risk?" You need to talk with his therapist and see what you can learn not just about his existing condition, but the prognosis. Think very carefully, my dear, and please don't rush any decisions.
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