Why do we tend to show an irrational behaviour to someone who has never harmed us?

All of a sudden there is a bout of jeleousy and a strong desire to cause harm to someone who is innocent and perhaps whom we have met for the first time. someone very close to me has unfortunately experienced that feeling twice in her life. She deliberately caused harm out of intense jeleousy almost ten years back. She suffered from this same spell very recently at a relatives place. But this time she conciously choose not to harm.
This incident has terribly let her down in her own eyes. Why would she want to harm someone who has done no wrong to her.? She is possesive by nature. A decade back, she was highly possesive of her mom, and could not bear to see her mom giving attention to anyone else except her.Today she is possesive of her husband & what applied to her mom now applies to her husband. Does she have some kind of a mental block? Surprisingly, this does not happen to her all the time. Please advice.

Answers:
I believe that it is possesiveness yet all of these signs can indicate neglect from her past, a neediness to feel top priority from the people that she believes are most important to her..does she do this to you??

Sounds like maybe she has some disorder of some kind. Maybe traumatic situation in her life caused this. She could be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A good place to seek help is Celebrate Recovery! I had a serious problem and it is from my past experiences!
Counseling for the friend.. please. She needs to take it back to why she felt so possessive about her mother because she's now doing the same thing with her husband. It's got to be some fear of rejection thing. like maybe her father left when she was little or something. there's something causing her to fear rejection and desertion by those closest to her.

My concern is how she will/does parent. She'll cause damage to another generation if she doesn't get it all worked out in her own mind. She needs a professional to facilitate that event for her. Best to her. and to you for caring enough to write.
It would be best if she would seek help.

As for why pick on a total stranger or other innocent, perhaps they reminded her of people from her past that she resented, and she projected those old feelings on to them -- could be anything, their hair, or face or sound of their voice or smell.

I don't know why you say "we" in your question, as this isn't universal behavior.
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