Living and Loving My Bipolar/OCD Fiance?

I love my fiance very much. He is on meds however he's so unpredictable. At first when he gets sarcastic I think he's just playing around. Then he gets serious and starts verbally attacking me and what I do around the house. Which by the way I take care of the house, our 3 cats, jack russell, and I iron and wash his clothes for work. I pick up after him allllll the time! He never shows gratitude. He's also disrespectful to me. He doesn't want to listen to what I have to say about anything. He is always putting me down and making me feel bad for nothing. He really does have a big heart and I know he loves me. His illness blocks that most of the time though. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to cope with a partner like this? I don't want any short sarcastic comments. I get plenty of them. I need some real advice.
Thank you!

Answers:
Why would you want to be with someone like that? He does not respect you. I say you have a serious talk with him about your feelings and sit down and make a list of what he wants and what you want and need. If its not working out, you should definately move out and move on because you will find someone who is going to respect your and treat you better.

My wife of 30 years is also bipolar and on meds. I can completely understand how you feel. I have been experiencing the same behaviours that you mentioned for many years. No doubt, it's a tough road. Why am I still with her? It would have been the easy way just to leave her. First, I still love her dearly. In the past I have been tempted many times just to leave. When I understood that it's a disease, I have learned to accept that I will not be able to change it except to make it easier for her to follow her therapy. Here are my suggestions to cope with such a partner:
1. don't get angry at him, he does not meant what he says. Just listen quietly without arguing or fighting.
2. You need time alone. Every now and then when it's just too much try to leave for a weekend or a week to breathe easier. IT,s not obvious but it's doable
3. Talk to his treating physician. It helps.
4. Try to encure he does follow the therapy prescribed to him
5. Read about the disease
6. Try to find a local support group for spouse of bipolar patients in you area. I do not know where you live, but it should be easy to find
7. I don't know if you are religious or not. If youa re pray. If youa re not, you need to develop a strong sensse of self, find peace of mind, meditate.
8. Life always bring some difficulties whatever it is, whoever you are. Now you have to deal with this situation

Hang in there and take care. I wish you a good life
well u got with him and knew he had a disorder maybe u should not be with him u r like a slave and dont get nothin nice why do u want to put up with someone that dis respect u if u r such a good homemakeer then u need someone that will appriate u that deserves u what a bout it goes out of control where it wont be verbal i mean u never really know what can come out of a person that has ocd and bipolar i mean good luck think right i know u love him but u need to think about u or see if he can get more help i know a girl that has a 8 yr old son that has bipolar and when he aint on med he slaps her i mean do what u want but u ask 4 our advice
I can relate to your situation, my boyfriend is bipolar, and it sounds like your fiancee is having lots of mood swings. Does he remember to take his meds, bipoars are notorious for being non compliant with thier medication regiment, will often abuse drugs/ alcohol instead. I have to make sure thet my boyfriend takes his meds, everyday rightin front of me because he will either refuse or spit them out when I am not looking. I make sure he takes them so I do not have to deal with the mood swings, i cannot stand them, the meds help subdue some but not all of it. I got stuck in the caregiver role too, i was constantly picking up after my boyfriend ,m i put my foot down, dont be an enabler. he improved slowly, but him picking up after himself has to be a consistant thing. I have treeated my boyfriend the same way he treated me and he became so upset, to be treated the same way that he was treating me. There is a bipolar support group on Yahoo groups for those of us who are friends, family members or gf/bf/spouses of bipolar people. It helped me, lots of people who are going through the same thing as you and I . I recommend you look in to it.
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