I need help to stop cutting...?
Answers:
Here are some excerpts from previous similar questions that I've answered that you may find helpful:
There are multiple reasons why people self-mutilate and each case needs to be explored individually. The most common reason is that it occurs in order to induce a dissociative state and assists people who have been traumatized with achieving a state of emotional numbness and you hear it described as soothing for them. The physiological basis for it stems from the release of endorphins-the brain's natural painkillers-which function much like opiates and dull the experience of emotional pain. Other reasons include the opposite rationale-people who feel numb emotionally and who have shut down will self-mutilate in order to feel something and remember they are alive. Others do it for self-punishment and feel relief from guilt or shame and see the letting of blood as a way to purge themselves of guilt. It may be a way of re-enacting and attempting to master early traumatic experiences This often happens during a dissociative state where people are recalling experiences which were traumatizing and they feel a need to punish/purge themselves for what they often mistakenly believe they have done wrong. There are also folks who do it as a way to cope with unrelenting chronic physical pain from other sources as it creates an alternative pain that distracts them from the chronic pain (think of the principle behind how a TENS unit works). In more rare instances it can be a response to psychotic states where folks are responding to command hallucinations or believe they are purging themselves from some evil inside them. There are other less common reasons, depending on the form of self-mutilation (eye enucleation, castration, etc.) that tend to be symbolic in nature. But most commonly it is done in response to increased feelings of tension with which the individual cannot cope and it becomes a way for them to dissociate their emotional pain and achieve an emotional numbing. The goal of treatment is to fully understand the reasons that sustain the behavior and in the latter case (the most common) to help people develop affect tolerance and the ability to cope with and soothe their emotional pain in healthier ways.
I'm a therapist and I agree with all the folks here who speak from personal experience that you need to speak with a professional that can help you explore healthier alternatives. Unfortunately, I have not found school counselors to be terribly helpful with this and a professional counselor can oten help more, though I really don't understand why school counselors aren't better prepared for this, especially these days. The longer you wait, the harder it gets, so please seek some assistance. Cutting really only works for a while and eventually it'll lose it's charm and you may find yourself cutting deeper and more often in order to achieve the same effect.
Your parents are contributing to the problem with their verbal abuse and lack of availability as a resource or support. If they are unwilling or unable to get you into counseling with a trained therapist, try Catholic Charities. They will see you on a sliding scale (or free if necessary) and they will try to work with your parents with your permission, but if your parents continue to choose to remain part of the problem versus the solution, the therapists can help you develop other healthier resources.
Just a couple of ideas to help get you started-try to stop in small steps. Set yourself a goal to not cut for a certain time period and when you've mastered that, set yourself a goal to refrain for longer periods, depending on how frequently you are cutting. Take it one day, one hour at a time if necessary. You can do this with each episode when you feel the impulse to cut in order to increase your self-control each time you feel the desire. Make it a goal that you set for yourself and reward yourself with something special each time you reach that goal. And make the goal also to include recognizing the feelings and needs that the cutting serves. What you'll also find is that as you go for longer and longer periods of time without giving in to the urge to cut, you'll become more aware of all your feelings and what is driving them and therapy can really help you to understand it better and give you options to consider. Ultimately you need to make a choice to stop the behavior or it won't stop. But for starters, try making a choice to refrain for a little longer than usual and challenge yourself to extend the time for longer and longer intervals. Setting a goal to stop can be daunting, but breaking it down into steps usually works and it allows you gradual access to your emotions so you can learn alternate methods of coping a little at a time.
Also, remove and get rid of all the things with which you regulary cut. Many people have certain items they use all the time and it becomes like a ritual. Removing these things will help you gain delay time by not having them readily accessible. It won't prevent you from getting other objects, but it will decrease the likelihood that you'll act on impulse alone.
Another option that has worked for some folks is to take a doll or stuffed animal that you love and cut it instead and then stitch it up or bandage it. It allows you to vent your feelings, but also helps you recognize and empathise with the pain you are inflicting by doing this and that in turn helps develop understanding towards yourself and gives you an opportunity to engage in actions designed to help heal the hurt. Loving something else, even a stuffed animal, is often a path towards learning to love and care for yourself.
Rubber bands, drawing a red line with a marker or ice are substitutes and some folks do find this helpful, but ultimately you need to break away from the cycle of causing yourself pain in order to numb up your emotions. They only work temporarily, if at all.
One other thought to consider. What you experience when you cut is really more like relief from pain than it is like truly feeling happy. The absence of pain is not the same as feeling happy, so don't settle for less than really being happy. Good luck!
Try holding a handful of ice whenever you feel the urge to cut, until the pain forces you to drop it.
well one of these days you will have a difficult to treat INFECTION and have to stop...why dont you talk to the school counselor? they need to see why you think you need this strange fix...
.sending blessing.s..
Well why do you do it? I use to cut too, because I was depressed. I got myself out of the depressive state though and realized there was better ways to deal with it than cutting. Maybe I'm just stronger than you... it's just something you have to realize is stupid and unhealthy. When you get the urges to do it... do something else, call a friend or something to help you. Eventually you'll be able to stop on your own. If that doesn't work though, maybe it is best you get professional help.
Look if your parents are not helping, go to your counselor and they would help you to get through with it or get the resources because I know it is more than the cutting and pain that attracts you. There is always a reason for something. Even if it is deeper than anyone can see.
You need professional help before it's too late. There must be some reason why you are doing this to yourself..
one of the teenagers I work with went through this a couple years ago. Her counselor had her using a red felt tip marker to take the place of a sharp object. She also wore a rubber band around her wrist and every time she felt like she wanted to cut, she snapped it against her wrist. I am not saying these will work for you but they are worth a try. Also consider talking to a professional. Good Luck to you.
Is there a place for young adults to go and hang out with others in your town? we have one where i live and it helps with alot of things. Believe me you are not the only person in the world that turns to something when things don't seem right.there is something inside you that makes you want to do this to yourself, it may take alot of searching and looking deep inside to find out what. there are councelors and others at these places to help don't be afraid to ask for a little help,we all have to once in a while! hang in there- take care
lots of people cut becuase of some inner problems. (ie. abuse, depressin, low self worth, lonliness). try taking care of any emotinal problems and see if you feel any better. Why did you start to cut. Also dont be scared to go to a rehab place. Also you could ask your dad to hide the razors.
WORK! Get a job that requires you to use your body more. Something just a little dangerous, like working on a car. After you smash your fingers and bruise and cut yourself by accident enough times I guarantee you'll quit cutting yourself. And don't just laugh this answer off... work will teach you how to focus on something else than your problems, which is probably why your cutting in the first place. It's an old cure, been around since the dawn of humanity. Try it, what have ya got to lose and you'll get paid too! But office work won't do it, it's gotta be muscular work.
please talk to me i'm here dogmicjoe@yahoo.com. go to the site to help with depression good luck call 1800 lifenet. metanoia.org, asktheinternettherapist.com
There is a specialized therepy called DBT and it gives a list of skills you can distract yourself with. I also recommend taking the class. Because what you have doesn't sound like depression to me, you have borderline traits and can probably heal too because you have the insight to know what you are doing is wrong. Look for DBT therapy online and the section called distress tolerance for better ways to deal with this.
www.dbtselfhelp.com
has the dbt hand outs
self-injury.net/doyousi/famous... lists famous people who also self injure you are not alone
Women Who Hurt Themselves
this is a pretty good book
Good luck and message do a google search for more when you get the urge!
Parental labelling activity is rarely helpful, and I strongly recommend that you show your doctor your scars, and ask to be referred for counselling. When you see the counselor, say what your parents called you, and that you have been advised that it is important that they be spoken to separately, as you appear to be in a dysfunctional family. In the short term, try drawing a red line across your wrists, and when you feel the need, cut one of your favorite stuffed toys instead, feeling its pain, and then you should stitch it up, or bandage it. Longer term, set yourself the goal of going 1 hour without cutting, when you feel that need, then next time, a little longer, and work your way up: the longer you go without cutting, the easier it becomes. Take up Tai Chi, yoga and/or self defence courses. Practice for 20 minutes daily,and when needed, the method at http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com... Meditation room; try it out; mantra meditation; repeat the word: "easy", or gaze at a burning candle in a quiet, darkened room. An incense burner, or sticks, are OK, but no music at first, until you get the hang of it, then get some music suitable for meditation from your local store, like Aeolian Harp, or Flutes of the Andes. The mindfulness breathing method at http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/ is a good one to practice, as well. These techniques should enable you to reach a part deep within yourself, where you no longer feel the need to cut, but they take practice, so don't just give up straight away, if no immediate results are apparent, as they may take up to several weeks, but they often work sooner. Phone 1800 dont cut, or 1800 3297227. See http://www.focusas.com/selfinjury.html... & http://palace.net/~llama/psych/... (/psych/injury.html) Now would be a good time to make that doctor's appointment. Take ONE vitamin B complex, and 4 fish oil supplements, daily, as they may help.
I think what you need to do is figure out why it is that you are cutting. Once you are able to deal with that issue things will get easier. You should talk to a school guidance counselor or a trusted teacher or a therapist or something because they can help you with all of that. You need to be able to cope with your problems instead of just distracting yourself from them. That's why all those things you've tried haven't worked. I know this from experience. The times when I actually sat down and talked about the reason I wanted to cut with somebody and dealt with that, those were the times that I was most successful at not cutting. I know how you're feeling though because I've been there. The biggest thing that was helpful for me was when I developed my support system. I finally told someone at my church about it and they wanted to help me and they've been there for me and that has been the most helpful thing. You need to start developing that support system too. Start with a guidance counselor or something and they can help you out with all of that.
You need to tap into the deep well of your emotions to heal. Once you really feel what you are suppressing surrounded by support from skilled professionals, then you can move on. You CAN go there. There is no emotion so painful that it will kill you. It is in the resisting that makes us sick.
The one place I know that can help you is the Kripalu Center in Stockbridge, Massachusestts. Get together $495 and get to their May 17-20th workshop. It is in a beautiful healing place. This workshop is called "Inner Quest Intensive". tel: 800-741-7353. Good luck
The health and medicine information post by website user , AnyQA.com not guarantee correctness , is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
More Related Questions and Answers ...