How can I help my husband with his depression?

We have been married for 3 years and we have 4 children between us. We both work and have great lives. But every once in a while, he goes thru what he calls "bouts of depression". I have never dealt with depression myself. So, it's hard for me to fully understand. I have the mentality of "get over it". Everything's fine, smile, move on. But ultimately, I do understand it's serious for him and that it's not something he does on purpose. I have so much respect for him and am truly infatuated with him. He is a terrific, educated husband and father. But when the "bouts" come around, I feel helpless. He is quiet, keeps himself secluded and can literally cry like a baby. I feel like we are on eggshells and at any moment, it could all fall apart. It's quite scary. Does anyone know what I can do? He wants no help, no medication, nothing. But I know we've got to do something. Another thing, they seem to come out of nowhere. I can't tell what triggers it.

Answers:
sometime financial situations or problems can start the spiral down into depression, actually any problem can over whelm you into the point where you feel the problem is so large that there is nothing you can do to overcome it and that the problem is larger that the positive things in your life.

Another aspect is that you life is "perfect" no real problems, and some people create problems to deal with to cope with the sameness of their lives. I know that this sound lame, but sometimes, especially if you grew up dealing with problems and you are constantly putting out "fires" - when you don't have fires to put out you feel useless and this again can spiral you downward.

You will have to honestly talk to him about why he feels low. I mean honest problems. Cause before you know it he will lose control and these will become, I mean consume his life. Deal with it when he enters the funk not when he feels better. you need to address the problem at the time of the problem. But start small just talk about what is bothering him, tell him how this make you feel. let him know you are affected and that you are willing to help him

I guess just start to talk to him and keep talking to him, show him that

get him to the Dr and get prozac
go on the internet and get as much info on depression, read up on it, be supportive, realize it is not his fault. he may say and do things to drive you nuts,remember its a part of the illness, talk to his dr and get suggestions on what you can do to make things easier for him
give him a lapdance or sum mushoo.
oh i get that. my spouse hangs onto the past too much it's poison to their soul.


be support for him. talk with him.. get that painful start over with as soon as possible.

he needs a little opening up.. then work from there.

once you get comfortable.. and him also with this whole talking about it.. ask him if a shrink will help or what could help him?

he needs to let go of things and talk.

if not it'll kill the two of you.

start out small.. and go piece by piece.. one day at a time.

it's normal.. we all have this.

it's just good to talk about it.. the more you two feel comfortable with one another and the things that make up your persona. the better in most cases.

he wants help.. he just doesn't know when or how to start getting it. maybe a shame thing going on here too. it is an uncomfortable thing but opening up will make him feel better.. even if he freaks out and goes emotional on you.. it's good to get it out, keeping it in kills.

i know this.

oh by the way if he goes on about how this isn't your business remind him that you are his wife.. a part of his life.. you two are together now..

it is your business.
same (in the natural section), st johns wort. lavander. its hard., i know. be ther for him. makes sure he knows how much you love and appriciate him. good luck.
his depression may be due to chemical imbalance. see if he can remember what he ate before his "bouts of depression" and get him a Gym membership, there's nothing like exercise to stimulate the brain into positive thinking.
maybe he is seeing someone else, and doesnt have the b---s to tell you.cause your are the mother of his kids and he loves you.ask him what is wrong he will say nothing.but watch out later..keep a close watch on him..if he wears nice clothes to work, showers, perfumes himself..
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