Perform penis surgery on myself?

I would like to perform a surgical precedure on my self and enhance the length of my penis. I have seen alot of do-it-your-self kits, but have been a bit skeptical because i certainly don't want to cut a vein by accident or do unrepairable damage to my 1 eyed snake. I certainly woulden't imagine paying a professional because that would make me gay. hell would you let an 5 ft tall asian man touch your penis? well. ok i woulden't mind that but that's not the point. The point is, is that my SNAKE IS SO SHORT, it's so short it actually goes right back into my fat, and i can't see little johnnys head :( Every night i cry, i cut myself and it makes me feel better, i just miss seeing my porksword, he is so small and cute, i used to love playing games with him. I used to give him massages and polish him, and i was so hygenic i got a professional hooker to clean him with her mouth! So as you can see i love my adorable little guy, he has been my partner for years, and i will never forget him

Answers:
problem seems to be the fat in which your "snake" is hibernating. Maybe a visit to a nutritionist would be wiser than one to a surgeon.

And for all the kids out there, no you cannot perform surgery on yourself *sigh*

Loose the fat and it'll grow back
Yeah, cut your dick at home and make it longer. You are a dick!
Well.you could find a 4' high asian woman.You better stop having such a love affair with you 'little friend'..before it falls off.go to a doctor, and they do have surgeries to help with that problem.you are making a joke out of it..so if your little friend is so adorable, ..you best not go cuttin on him because he might not ever forgive you
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