What should i do?
any advice would be welcome..
Answers:
If you want to leave the country, make meticulous plans, save some money first - you may not get a job straight away. If you're thinking of going somewhere - that you normally holiday at - remember you wont be a tourist if you live there - you'll be treated differently. Moving to a new country will leave you without a job and without your family - could you handle that!
I moved out of the country when I lost my job, its no picnic - the locals resent outsiders coming in to take over jobs, I have no family at holiday season or birthdays, my family don't even call me (exception - my mother).
I don't want to return to England though, when I look out the window of my room I can see the sun shining, the sea and the beautiful exotic plants - that makes me feel so good.
I'll make it here but it wont be easy!
hang in there it can only get better i think the family would prefer financial cuts rarther than to lose you go to the cab see what your entitled to there is help out there just ask for it
Leaving your family and country would distance you from a lot of problems rather than solve them. Youll still owe money and need a job etc. Its difficult to deal with everything at once espcially when youre stressed. it might be an idea to see the doc, he could give you tablets, or recommend other stress busters like exercise etc. Once you feel in a better frame of mind you can start to tackle the underlying probs with your job, money etc.
See a properly qualified therapistr such as a counsellor/psychoptherapist/hy... They will help you to get to the source of the stress and release yourself from it. It sounds as though you have lots of problems, some of which may be linked. Get some help as soon as you can.
sounds like your goin into depression hunny, try and talk to someone a close family member, friend, and go to your doctor who can give you advice, your doin the right thing by lookin for a new job grab the first one, even if its crap pay and look for a better oen a job is a job and better then nothign
it can be very daunting sometimes life .stress is a terrible thing .if you don't own your home and don't have any asets and are in deep financial trouble it may be worth you considering an I.V.A which is an Individual Voluntary Agreement its one step short of Bankruptcy and is all clear after 5 years and a percentage of your debts are written off .
search the Internet for a reputable company that deals with an IVA.
if you have your own house try speaking to the Citizens Advice Bureau .
good luck the worse thing you can do is just sit there you have to get out and sort it and seek advice ,once you begin to see light at the end of the tunnel you will feel much better .
I think you are depressed. Certainly look for a new job if you think you will be happier - maybe a job with less that stress attached. But don't leave your family now. You will need them. And stop worrying about money for the moment. You haven't lost your job yet and everyone is allowed sick leave. Go to a counsellor and see if they can help. Good luck
Poor you - sounds like you need a short break from everything. You need to chat to your doctor as your first port of call, then tell your wife/husband exactly how you are feeling... I am sure that between you, you will be able to find a way through all the problems, but if you don't give her/him a chance, (s)he will never be able to try and help you. Sadly I can't mind read, and I think 99.9% of the population can't either, so get STRAIGHT TALKING to anyone who will listen and who could help you.! Does your work have an HR (personnel) officer you could talk to? Or a helpline? What about NHS Direct? Or even the Samaritans. Give someone a try, no good on here, better face to face or at least phone to phone.
Best of luck - keep on talking!
Speak to your GP, he can get you signed off from work for a couple of weeks to give you time to try and get your head together, this means also that you cannot be sacked whilst you are off sick buying you some time to get things sorted out. If it's your job that is making you ill then it will have a knock on effect to every part of your life and you will feel very depressed, but having some time off may make you see things clearly and make you realise what you want to do in life. Speak to anyone you think may start hounding you for money and let them know you have financial problems. They will be surprisingly understanding if you speak to them first and let them know what's going on. I was depressed in my job last year and i was completely miserable and felt the same. I changed my job, earn less money and yet feel like a weight has been lifted
You do sound quite stressed and possibly suffering from some depression and anxiety. First of all, you need to gather your thoughts together and try to think as rationally and logically as you can. Try to distance yourself from how you feel at the moment - you need to identify what the problems and issues are here - what is it that is making you feel this way - and what has made you fall into these circumstances..you need to be remain as collected as possible and to allow yourself to think clearly and make sensible decisions as to what you're about to do next - simply panicking - as you're intelligent enough to realise, is not going to make things go away or solve the problem. You have to remian calm and clear as to your decsions because the consequences will follow after...i.e. - simply running away will give you more problems later. You may feel anxious, fear, desperation - it's going to be very easy to give in to these emotions and act irrationally, and in turn produce even more negative consequences. We can to an extent control how circumstances turn out - the way we think, behave,act and respond to particular situations. With the way you are feeling at the moment it's going to be a hard slog BUT if you get enough rest, sleep and eat well - plenty of excercise and fresh air and also adding things in that you enjoy e.g. eating your favourite food, talking to your favourite person, - your tolerance levels will also be much stronger and you will think better - so, even if you're having to dig your way out of whatever your mess you're in - you will be in a much stronger position to do so and be quicker too... the samaritans are usually listed in yellow pages - calls are all confidential and anonymous - you can talk as much or as little , or just to let off some gas,...hope this helps
Please Please have you got anybody at all to talk to?, 2 years ago I was in your position sold up and went to live in Spain. but my worries, stress and financial problems followed me.
I found it hard to deal with language barriers etc and returned to the UK 18 months ago, but still in the same frame of mind.
I am finding if I have a negative thought I try and think about happy things to distract my thoughts slowly it does seem to be working. The other thing I am finding helps is pre - Spain I tried to keep every worry or concern a secret, but now I am quite open and feel am getting more support,
Yes I live in rented accommodation have no job, no money, but lots more friends who are willing help now they know my circumstances.
You speak of family please think of how they would feel if a person they love were to just disappear out of their lives
I would be gutted
Good luck
O.k. First things first. Sit down and breathe in deeply. Then breathe out very slowly and try to clear your mind of the constant chattering and worries swirling around in there.
Right, then think about what is important, really important to you. When you think about it objectively, work is only a part of your life. A significant part, yes, but only a part. There are other things that are more important. Generally speaking, the following is true: if you died tomorrow, the company you work for would find a replacement in a few days, and everything would run normally without you. Who would miss you? Who cares about you? They are the ones who are more important to you, and you to them. So you need to speak to your family and give them the heads up. Life is going to change, and you will need their support.
1. Simplify your life and learn to prioritise. Cast off anything that takes your attention away from your family and your relationship with them. Talk to them and ask them about what would happen if you did get the sack, how would everyone pitch in to help? Is there anything they are willing to give up to ease the burden? You may be surprised at how resilient and resourceful your loved ones can be.
2. Remember to take any big task and break it down into smaller steps, which you can work through one at a time without feeling overwhelmed.
3. There will never be enough money. When you can accept this, financial worries become less pressing.
4 Savour the good moments and have a realistic perspective on the bad. Harder than it sounds, believe me, but possible.
It sounds to me like you have got into a negative thought spiral, so easy, I know, and very difficult to break out of. I used to say things to myself like 'I should be successful at everything I do.' or ' Failing means I'm worthless and unlovable'. As soon as I started challenging the way I thought about myself, I realised how ridiculous such thoughts were. You don't concously think these things, they just pop up in your brain, but if you don't catch them at it they can affect your confidence and sense of self worth.
They can even make you believe that no-one cares about you, so what you do won't matter. It's not true. Become aware of how you're thinking, and if a dysfunctional belief comes creeping in, ask Why? For example. if you think 'I must be loved and approved by everyone', ask yourself Why must I? In this way you can start to establish the reasons for the way you think, and challenge negative thoughts more sucessfully.
Learn to enjoy your life. Remember the good things that have happened in your life and brush off the bad. Be aware of the small pleasurable moments in each day, in fact, every night, write down five moments during your day when you experienced joy. These can be as sumple as hearing birdsong, smelling flowers or hugging someone you love. Over time, I learned that it's these moments which we often take for granted that sustain us.
Don't despair and sink into depression. I know you can't help feeling low, it's not a sign of failure if you have a bad day, but if you take the time to look after yourself, eat well, exercise, and continue doing the things that bring you pleasure, you can help yourself and be more helpful to the people that mean something to you.
don't give up! life is full of hardships & it's never easy. well, hardly ever, so be tough & expect that s*** happens. maybe you could do with some support. ask your DR if you could see an art therpaist or a counsellor as you can't afford to see one privately. if he doesnt help, see another DR. & ask & pray to God to please help you,you are a child of God, how can He ignore you? I promise ask & he will respond. don't despair, please.
if you find you cannot keep your job, your Dr can sign you off for a while whilst you get yourslef together or even take time off work due to stress & you'll be paid while you're off sivk (ask your GP)
there's lots of help available, just ask around. if you're in UK, def. go to CAB (this is their site to find nearest one 2 u:
Please email me if I can be of any help.
the way you say it soons like your falling it to depressive state seek more help as soon as possible people r out there waiting 2 help!!
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