how to overcome your fears, low self esteem and vulnerability?

i have been scared into making decisions for my self which has led me having low self-esteem and being vulnerable and scared of other people and i don't know what to do about it

Answers:
yep so do I and i have been diagnosed depression which is a huge shock as i was the complete opposite 7 years ago I was a very strong dependent woman, i was so confident I loved meeting new people strange circumstances. Now somebody as turned the tables on me. All I can suggest to you is to force yourself out there in the big world. Little steps at first like walking to the shops and saying good morning to people you walk past complete strangers. Trust me you will feel so much better. Give it a try it does work., start a new hobby meet new people.

you have to get out meet people, make friends, that all helps you feel better about yourself, afterall if other people like you you must be ok
Read more, practice how to get what you want without fear all depending on you not others.
I agree with Cj oneday you will have to make it and if it's wrong you will live with it,but you did make a desicion to ask this question to 1000 of people and see no harm done.
talk to people. find people you like. show them you trust them. try being confident. if you trust in people, they will help you out. try doing voluntary work if your unemployed, which i gather you are. the best advice i can give you is! talk too women first! they understand feelings better than men do, plus the will get you thinking that you're not alone and make you feel good about yourself. if your really open to other people you might even land yourself a g/f. women like a man who can confide in them
join a group,with the same problems.
I feel the same. let me know if you discover the answer!
Have you tried alcohol to help you socially ?

I suffer from the same problem, but i drink half a bottle of whiskey on my drive into work, and hey presto.i'm fine !

Once people got used to the spontaneous singing on top of my desk, and shouting "who you looking at pal ??", along with the constant smell of urine from my groin area.we all laughed about it !
well you could try a support group or drop in? MIND have drop ins if you are in UK.. Self doute is a hard thing to over come, you could see GP and try and get a counsellor, as you will need to look at when and why the vulnerability started.. Sounds as if you have either been brought up by or lived with a very very dominate person, who has not given you the chance to make decisions with out constant criticism or shutting you down. Feel this is a big question to answer on here, with out you disclosing information on your self, which may make you more vulnerable. Building confidence can start with just doing a hobby or leisure activity that makes you feel good, you enjoy and are good at, you need to build on all the positives in your life.. You would benefit from some 1:1 support, or try even a Small evening class, anything which will help you meet people, pratice your skills and build both confidence and self worth..
Get therapy.
Confidence problem? Simplest answer? Fake it.

Everyone pretends to be someone or something they're not at one time or another: we lie, deceive and twist truths into half-truths. When presented with a situation that makes you fearful, assaults your confidence or gnaws at your vulnerabilities then act or react within three seconds (enough time to take a quick deep breath).

Be convincing enough and you'll start believing it yourself. Try it. You'll be surprised.
Try typing EFT into Yahoo search then press GO. EFT is emotional freedom technique and if you look into it, it might work for you. I hope it does help. Best wishes.
Hi,
Suggest that you read 'Awaken the giant within' by Anthony Robbins.
Before you start wanting to reach out to people and the world,you need to know where you are starting from,who you are and,more importantly,whether you're strong and resourceful enough to take that step. I mean, you wouldn't attempt to dive into a swimming pool from a board made of quarter inch thick balsa wood- that would be futile. The book will teach you to learn who you are,correct your faults,take action to amend the faults and give you a good springboard to get out there and kick the worlds' ***.
It worked for me....
Good luck in love and life,
Misterviv
Get out and meet people! Go to a gym, look after your body, that will have people making comments and u will make friends also, plus it will make you feel good! Feeling good about ones self physically will effect u mentally. Depression also extends to lack of certain hormones and bad diets. Eat good, train good, and feeeeel good!
The rest will take care of itself! good luck!
Please know I hear what you are saying.

I grew up with fear, no self confidence, and extremely low self-esteem.

I don't blame anyone for this even though there were many
others who enabled this to happen.

So please allow me to tell you this. I offer my wish, my hope, and my blessing to you so that it may help you in some small way.

You are a miracle beyond miracles in the unknown vastness of our Universe!

You are a conscious, acting, feeling being!

You have great power!

You have the ability to choose!

You have so many gifts to offer our world, a world that needs
all that we can give.

You must embrace all of these ideas because they are true!

You must seek support from those who can remind you of all these truths.

Have fun but be safe.
If you can, try counseling. It is really helpful. I know being in a disfunctional family can cause a lot of self esteem problems. There is a term called 'lost child' that basically means you were a child who did not want to make any waves, blend in, try and fit in. It is a defense used as a child, but may not serve you now. You may feel everyone is watching you or embarassed to say something stupid. It is common for many people. 99% of people have self esteem problems. Since it is interfering with the quality of your life, you should seek some help. Groups are also a good option. Start taking excellent care of yourself and nurture yourself. Remove all negetive thinking about yourself. Replace any bad thoughts with good thoughts. Making friends will help, but this may continue to be a problem that appears in your life and it is best to get to the root of the problem and correct it. Also, see your primary Dr. they can prescribe anti-anxiety meds. Sometimes, just a tiny amount can help the social anxiety. Some things therapsits do is have you do inner child work to re-parent yourself. You can look this up on the internet- there is also a lot of free internet sites for self esteem. Also affirmations are great. Don't forget, it is ok to be who you are. So, you may be a little shy or nervous, that is ok- accept that you have learned these traits through your upbringing and don't feel guilty about it. You can work on them. Everyone has something to work on. Read some self help books. Good luck~
i no how u feel ! im the same
i think some times u just have 2 make urself do wot u most fear 2 become stronger... or say u no wot i dont care wot others think i will try 4 myself 2 over come this..
This Prayer Works!

Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.

O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.

--'Abdu'l-Baha (Son of the Prophet-Founder of the Baha'i Faith, Baha'u'llah, the Glory of God)

I hope this helps.

I will, also, keep you in my prayers.
just be yourself nothing is wrong with you,society makes u like this.I take drugs and its killing me but im not going back to being that person..mind you at the age off 2 being given dexedrine isnt right,as if tried when an adult you go way back before the hell?
Note the advice given in the 1st few answers here. I'm sorry but you need to grow up - making decisions for yourself is part of life; even many young children make some of their own decisions. Otherwise, what are you, a robot? A doormat? I think not. Yes it may be scary but at least you can control aspects of your life.

Your self-esteem isn't low because you have to make your own decisions - on the contrary, doing so will boost it. Your negative self-image is down to other factors, probably early on in your life, which you need to face, address, and work through.

A tough journey, but well worth it. All the best X
You need to stay well away from the person /people who are trying to take control of your life by scaring you into making decisions you are not comfortable or happy with and you need to work at standing up to these people and saying no. You need to visit your gp and ask them to send you for assertiveness training which will help teach you how to do the above. If no joy with that then perhaps see a counsellor or psychotherapist who will help you work through the problems you have with your low self esteem and fears which are making you feel vulnerable.You are in control of your life noone else and you only have one life and need to make the most of it.Tell these people you are perfectly capable of making your own decisions thankyou.
Hang on in there pal.there are more people out there with this problem than you think.we live in a fast uncertain world and people have minutes if not seconds to form impressions. Next time you have self doubt .ask yourself what YOU think of these other people/circumstances etc rather than what they think of you.

Talk to someone .it really helps you sort your mind out , but comit to give anything you do a couple of months, it will seem uncomfotable at first but if you get thru this then you can get thru anything
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