How to make toothpaste?
Answers:
Toothpaste
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Toothpaste.In the same way that human fingernails and toenails are made of keratin, human teeth are made of toothpaste. A quick-setting material, toothpaste occurs naturally in liquid form in many places around the world such as the granite outcrops of northern England, the Badlands of Nevada, the Uranium mines of Queensland, Australia, and in the Ogalala Aquifer.
[edit] Toothpaste Extraction
Once extracted from its natural setting, toothpaste dries on contact with air and forms sharp, jagged crystilline structures. To prevent this from occurring the toothpaste is suspended in a saline solution until needed.
Historically, families or small communities would have kept their own toothpaste ponds, but with increasing globalisation these local ponds are disappearing to be replaced by massive storage tanks operated by organisations such as Colgate and Crest.
[edit] The Toothpaste Lifecycle today
With the assistance of subsidies from the World Bank, these organisations slowly release their toothpaste solutions into the main water supply. Microgranules of toothpaste accumulate in our bodies. Once released into the bloodstream, toothpaste makes its way to the upper and lower jaw area and slowly accretes into the hard, shiny teeth we all know and love.
[edit] Tooth Decay
Due to recent overmining of toothpaste, several people are experiencing the phenomenon known as tooth decay. Caused by a toothpaste deficiency in the body, symptoms of tooth decay include brittle teeth, pain in teeth, and amnesia. Luckily, there may be hope for the future. Renowned scientist Michael Jacksoff recently developed a method for synthesing raw toothpaste from child flesh, pen ink, and cumm-enriched Kryptonite while he was kitten huffing at his Neverland Ranch in Dubois, WY.
Baking soda, water and lemon juice with a sprinkle of mint for flavour and flouride can be bought from the health food store.
I used baking soda for years and everyone told me how my teeth were the whitest and when I went in for my check ups I did not have any cavities. I just love the idea of using baking soda for tooth paste, it gave me my best check-ups! Kept my teeth white, and out of the Dentist chair. Good luck I hope this works as well for you as it did for me.
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